Lori here. We’re almost through round 1 of 4 in the BEP Chemo Cycle and we’ve learned some useful lessons along the way. Thought I’d share.
Lesson 1: Sugar + Chemo= Nausea
Maarten learned the hardway that if he ate sugar the same day he had a Chemo IV, then it would make him extremely nauseous. Oops!
Lesson 2: Visitors are great, in moderation
Visiting with Friends and family gives him mental strength, but unfortunately takes it’s toll physically. His batteries run out quickly and from one moment to the next he needs to go lie down.
Lesson 3: For Maarten’s well being, Being connected is everything
Having online access in the hospital took an intolerable situation and made it livable. Maarten had a project to focus on other than the Ivan the IV. He was able to stay connected to friends and family and to the outside world.
Lesson 4: Take whatever medicine you can, when you can
In the beginning it’s difficult to ask for something when you’re in pain, but you learn quickly that if you have a slight headache, or slight nausea, it will become a BIG headache or UNBEARABLE nausea. The moment you notice pain, get something for it!
Lesson 5: Take Control when you can by shaving your head
Cancer is a disease that controls you. In a flash, other people are deciding when you get medicine, when you eat, when you drink, when you’ll feel better, when you’ll feel worse. When Maarten shaved his head it was one thing he could do by choice.
Lesson 6: Side effects suck!
After his last day treatment Maarten had the chills for four hours, followed by a fever which hit 40.2 at its highest point. After calling the doctor we were assured this was expected. Maarten put it best when he said ‘This sucks’.
Lesson 7: Ask for help/or learn how to accept it
We are used to being independent and self-sufficient when it comes to most things. I, in particular, have difficult asking people for things. But I’m learning. Maarten is sensitive to the light after chemo, so Sander came by and spent the whole day installing blinds in the bedroom and kitchen (and did a fantastic job!). Friends and family have come over to cook for us (which gives me a rest) and offered everything from toys to support.
Lesson 8 : Never underestimate the value of Bubby-love (our cat)
Everytime Maarten can see our cat, Freddy (whom I refer to as bubby) , he smiles. That’s powerful.
Lesson 9 : With our friends and family there to pull us through, we are guaranteed success
Maartens Journey 
Hi Lori,
Wow, round 1 almost over, and look at you two, still looking great 🙂
Very nice blog, am sure all your insights and lessons learned will be very helpful for many others,
Take care.
Marta
Respect for how you guys handle the situation, take care!
Natuurlijk was ‘t niet de bedoeling, maar de razor cut looks super cool!
Cancer is both humbling and empowering. But in the end, you will never think of the humbling moments…you will remember all of the important things that you figured out about your own life, things that are important, things that are NOT important, the value of love of family and friends. You will, voluntarily or involuntarily, learn what matters in your life…and many people spend their entire lives and never truly figure it out. It s a journey I would never wish on you, but one that will make you both better and stronger, and with eyes tinted for appreciation of a great life.
And a great lifelong fondness of cats. And perhaps baldness.
lots of love from Hong Kong
Still impressed by the way you’re dealing with it all.
Round 1 you won on points. Now keep going untill Theo’s KO.
Later,
Jos
Succes in preparing for number 2. You can count on our support, online of live, we’ll be there for the both of you. Lori good you state the difference between physical and mental strain, they are completely different especially when going through chemo. It’s a good thing you learned that lesson quickly, now everyone can keep this in mind all the time.
As for all the other very wise lessons, I’m sure that Theo hates you for it, because the wiser you get the harder it is for it to survive!
we’ll be in touch.
Anita
just how amazing are you guys??
having been through something similar in my own family – i think lesson 7 is incredibly important –
especially in this day and age, we seem to see it as a sign of weakness to ask for help – when actually that is all you have to do & everyone who loves you (& the number of them is also always a surprise) comes running – which is very humbling!
accepting it can also be tough at first but it comes pretty quickly!
sterkte & heel veel liefs vanuit engeland
deexx
I would say lesson 8 is a universal cure for all things bad, for instance
“bad foot out of bed disease” (might be just a typical Dutch illness [not to confuse with foot and mouth]),
grumpyness,
monday morning blues.
Power to the Purr!!
Dear Maarten & Lori,
You both are AMAZING! We send our love, hugs, smiles and support every minute of every day to you.
Love, Shirley & David
Lori, your insight is right on and would be helpful to anyone going through life’s hardships, but especially for cancer patients and their loved ones. I hope there’s a way to share this wisdom in a wider venue.
Most of us have a difficult time asking for help. Why is that? False pride? I don’t know. None of us can walk this life and be involved with the world around us and not find ourselves, at some point, needing each other. What I have learned is to not ask what I can do for someone in need. I observe and see what needs to be done and then “just do it”! It’s obvious that you are blessed with friends and family who have learned that same lesson.
When Lens is well and life is back to normal both of you will “Pay It Forward”.
Love you,
Raelene & Tony
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.
It is a very inspirational journey in the way you’re both handeling it.
It sometimes feels like breaking in into such a private part of your lives. But I’m glad you’re allowing me to be a (lurking) part of it.
Thanks.
annemarie
Lori – I agree with Aunt Raelene, your insite into this is very valuable, not just to you, but to others. You know, we have joked about writing travel books (for people who shop and sight see:-) ) but, you really are a gifted writer. I think you can share with others insight into different journeys, including this one. Something to consider.
Your Favorite Sister
You guys are teaching us some lessons along the way as well. big kiss!
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